Being Present To Help Survive Your Divorce
Presence is the key to fighting regrets and worry and avoiding negative self-talk
In this episode Tom and Adrian discuss Ridding ourselves of the internal chatter that drives depression and causes distraction
Adrian discusses the effectiveness of reading the book the Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.
Tom explains the the usefulness of Zen Buddhist Koan in quieting the mind.
Adrian raises the issue of the mortality of everything and references “Tuesdays with Morrie” by Mitch Albom.
Tom tells the story of employing a former Navy seal who, in turn, shared learning from his military training regarding the transient nature of all things– that everything ends- good or bad. And it is in this meditation that one can find a quieting of the agitated mind similar to the intent of Zen Koans.
Adrian shares the difficulties and even futility of trying to forecast the future and the benefit of divorce in the form of becoming a more effective emotional warrior. Tom presses the point about vigilance
Adrian endorses the Application Headspace that provides guided meditation. and discusses the blocks (such as skepticism) that prevent trial that need to be overcome.
Next, Adrian describes a very simple breathing technique to help with hyper-vigilance. Tom warns of the dangers associated with anger and the vulnerabilities it leads to in communications with your ex. Tom reminds the listener of the dispassionate nature of those involved in deciding how assets and resources are divided and the danger in marginalizing oneself by becoming angry. He advocated presence as a way to control the frustration and anger that comes for the sense of losing control.
Adrian reminds the listener how important it is to your children to set an example of emotional control and maintaining a rational state of mind.
The transcript for the podcast is here